One Foot in the Grave
One Foot in the Grave
One Foot in the Grave
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Price: $6.99 FREE for Members
Type: eBook
Publisher: Baen
Page Count: 352
Format: pdf
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0671877216
ISBN-13: 9780671877217
User Rating: 3.3333 out of 5 Stars! (3 Votes)

One Foot in the Grave free

Wm. Mark Simmons pdf

From Publishers Weekly

Kotzwinkle's first adult novel since The Bear Went Over the Mountain (1996) is a rollicking old-school space opera complete with sensitive robots, wily space aliens and secretive societies in turmoil. In a lab hidden inside the notorious Junk Moon, scientists on the Amphora Project strive to find the key to immortality from encoded data left behind long ago by the mysterious "Ancient Aliens." Stuart Landsmann, the project's chief scientist, tells Amphora's backers they must stop the research or risk bringing about the end of the world, but his warnings are ignored. Jockey Oldcastle, space pirate and rogue, teams up with mild-mannered biologist Adrian Link to uncover the truth about Amphora, as people around the project start dying, their bodies transformed to crystal. The story twists along at breakneck pace through a future of absurd decadence and immense possibility. Along the way, Kotzwinkle fans will find sharply resonant moments as well as pointed humor and insight into human nature at its worst and best.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


The Amphora project is the attempt by a consortium of the Planet Immortal's rich and powerful to create immortality and enlightenment, and in light of the previous success of an alien species' work with the technology of ancient aliens, success now seems tenable. Hidden on the Junk Moon, the project has attracted the attention of space pirate Jockey Oldcastle, who heard about it from a scientist kicked off the project because of his doomsaying. Investigating the rumors, Oldcastle, his navigator Lizardo, botanist Adrian Link, and the robot Upquark discover that Project Amphora isn't doing what it's supposed to. Instead, it's turning subjects into fragile crystal, thereby rapidly depopulating Planet Immortal. Oldcastle, Lizardo, and Link must decipher the motives of the extradimensional beings truly responsible for the immortality technology and rush to keep predators at bay. An entertaining trip through an exotic future full of weird tech and plenty of heroics and adventure in the company of bizarre creatures. Regina Schroeder
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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| 4 out of 5 Stars!

OK, I am a sucker for good dialog. I love puns. I love snappy comebacks. And this book is loaded with them. That's the good news. The bad news: the plot is thin, hard to follow. A few characters are fully fleshed out (as it were) but many are sketchy, and many are killed off before we get to know them. The motives can be confusing. Count Dracula isn't really Count Dracula, and we don't ever really find out who he is.

Nonetheless, it was so much fun to read. I kept quoting bits of the dialog to my significant other.

Some of BunRab's Standard Vampire Classification: -Series: if it is, it's the first one. -Significant genre it comes from: Fantasy/humor. -Does the vampire hold a job? Well sort of, although he loses it in the course of the book. -Do the vampires drink blood? Yes, though it can be animal instead of human. -Is drinking blood a metaphor for sex? No, although it can occur during sex. -Is there a lot of sex? Nope, and not much detail for what there is. -Are there other supernatural characters? Yup, and a few too many of them, if you ask me. Introducing umpteen different subspecies of elves was an unnecessary complication. -Is it deadly serious (pardon the pun)? Nope, I believe I've addressed that. I mean, we have vampires with library cards picking up girls at the research desk, for pete's sake. -Is it well written? Well, the dialogue is great, the plotting and resolution a little less great. But it's not hard to read, and it's acceptable for fantasy.

Incidentally, I worked for a department store credit department in a large city with lots of ethnic population, so I knew how to pronounce Csejthe right off the bat. The book finally does explain it after a bit.

| 5 out of 5 Stars!

I like the cover art on this paperback as well as the description of it as "Dracula meets the Godfather". I figured it would be good for some cheesy vampire action; you know, one of those books you have to read because it's so laughingly bad. I'm pleased to say I was completely wrong!

The novel begins with Chris Csejthe trying to find a cure for the mysterious disease that started to plague him shortly after the deaths of his wife and daughter. Chris, who narrates the story, then finds himself in the middle of a bizarre life-or-death situation while two powerful vampire "families" (in the mob sense) fight over him. Turns out Chris is in the middle of vampire transformation; neither human nor vampire, Chris begins an adventure of discovering who he is, testing his new powers, and solving the mystery of the tragedy that took the people he loved. Along the way he meets Dr. Mooncloud, Bassarab, Lupe, Suki, Elizabeth, and a whole slew of other-worldly creatures such as elves, goblins, dryads, nagas, knockers, sprites, and many others. All the while, he narrates the events around him with sarcastic humor, literary references and some healthy wariness. Any vampire novel that can weave an enchanting tale of an alternate history such as this while quoting Sappho, Yeats, Victor Hugo, Donne, Wordsworth, Oscar Wilde etc. deserves more recognition! Simmons has created a fascinating world filled with funny, intelligent characters. The dialogue is snappy, the plot is filled with twists and turns, the story is suspenseful, and the book itself is impossible to put down. I am so pleasantly surprised fi section, but it easily crosses into horror, humor, drama as well. It has something for everyone: humor, action (you'll find lots of weapons and methods of killing without intense graphic gore), suspense, mystery, fantasy. Buy it, you won't be disappointed.

| 1 out of 5 Stars!

I love this book. The combination of mystery, thriller, and coming of age (in an extended sense) novel works very well. The characters are interesting, the plot isn't monotonous or predictable, and the whole concept of vampirism as a virus (not totally original) is intreaguing; however, this is definately a Baen book. Like most Baen books, this one is character centered and the character "comes of age" in a sense. The dialogue and first person point of view monologue, also typical of Baen books, is lightly sarcastic, with the sarcasim takes the form of many references to the literary world (other Baen books make well researched references to music groups or historical details). Finally, there isn't too much angst. All in all, its a feel good novel w/ just enough tension for the reader to appreciate the good parts.

What is a Baen book? Baen is the publishing imprint that publishes (or used to publish) most of fantasy 13 or light R rating, with just enough sex and violence to be interesting without being overwhelming.

If you like this, I recommend the following vampire books/series: Mercedes Lackey's "Children of the Night," Susan Sizemore's Laws of the Blood Bk. #1 "The Hunt," and Hays & McCalls' "The Cowboy and the Vampire"

So, why the four stars? Well, it just isn't as good as Christopher Golden's The Shadow Saga trilogy or Tanja Huff's Blood Series (both of which lean towards series R ratings or, in the case of Golden's series, towards an NC-17 rating).

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